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Thanks to everyone who has sent me a message asking about my status. As this post should confirm I am indeed okay. I was not at Santika club up on Ekamai on NYE. I was up in Chiang Mai about 750 kilometers north of Bangkok.

That being said, the people I went up to Chiang Mai with did know at least one Thai girl who died (Ada Sumalee Meksup). They also knew a British guy (Alex Wargacki) who is currently listed in critical condition. We received news from some friends down in BKK Sat morning.

Ada Sumalee Meksup

Alex Wargacki

For the back story; a popular Ekamai nightclub called Santika caught fire on Friday night killing at least 58 and injuring over 200. From the news reports it appears that the fire was started when someone set off fireworks in the club after midnight as part of the NYE celebration. The second floor caught fire and the fire spread rapidly as several hundred people tried to exit through the front door.

Police say they will charge the owner of the club for allowing people under the age of 20 to enter the club as some of the injured and dead were under 20. He will not be charged with arson as his fire insurance had run out some time ago. In an eerie coincidence this was to be a farewell party for the Santika nightclub as it was unable to renew its lease and was considering opening at a new location.

It’s a really sad way to start off the new year but thanks for all those concerned about me.

The videos below might be a little graphic but the press here takes the old saying that “if it bleeds it leads” more literally then we do in the West.

Videos submitted to YouTube. Some amateur stuff shot on cell phones so very much in the moment of when things happened.

Posted on Jan 03.09 to General Ramblings, Travel | No Comments »  

I haven’t posted an update in awhile and I’ve been getting lots of emails about various things so I thought I would shoot off a quick one just to get everyone up to speed.

There was no coup here in Thailand. The courts disbanded the ruling party for buying votes and the PAD demonstrators left the two major Bangkok airports. Flights resumed a few days later with about 350,000 travelers being stranded in Thailand waiting for flights out.

Thailand’s economy is pretty much in the toilet for 2009. Not only is the tourism authority predicting half the number of tourists as last year but world wide global meltdown has eased demand so factories, electronics manufacturers, raw product producers (rubber, etc), etc are all laying people off. In one provence alone they predicted that 1 in 10 workers would lose their jobs before the end of 2008. Tourism related jobs are also going to take a hit with 1.2 million job cuts expected.

It’s so bad that despite being at the peak of high-season when you walk down the streets in the tourist parts of town it’s worse than during the low-season. I’ve walked into once popular watering holes and been the ONLY customer in the place.

Things have picked up a bit since the airports have reopened but nowhere near what they would expect for this time of year. The plus side is that if you’re not really into crowds or overcrowded nightclubs then it’s like heaven.

It’s unusually cold this year which means that temps are dipping into the bone-chilling 26 C (79 F) territory. . . at night! It’s quite a laugh because you see all these Thai girls bundled up in winter gear and you’re sitting there in a t-shirt and shorts and still sweating.

Someone asked me the other day about whether the Bangkok nightlife was anything like the movie Bangkok Dangerous. The scene in the beginning when Cage’s character meets Kong is 100% authentic. That street exists and is called Soi Cowboy. And yes, it is that wild and crazy. It’s basically one long street with go-go bars running up and down each side of it. The only exception I would take is the whole pick-pocketing thing. Yeah, I’m sure it happens from time to time but nowhere often enough where Cage’s character would randomly stumble upon it like that.

There’s one shot where Cage is taking a photo and he’s standing in front of a go-go called the Tilac bar. Hugh Grant was in the papers a few years back because he supposedly got mobbed by the dancers there and had to flee. I’ve heard from a couple of people who were there that night and they say that they saw Grant but none of the girls even recognized him and the story was probably a PR stunt to drum up some interest in the Bridgett Jones movie he was shooting there.

For those who don’t know a go-go bar is basically what we might call a strip club back in the US. Girls come out and dance, people watch, when the girls are done dancing they roam around the place looking for someone who will buy them heavily marked up drinks. It’s different from a strip club in the sense that there’s no lap dancing. Well, I guess if you got friendly enough with one she might sit on your lap but you wouldn’t pay her anything for it other than buying her drinks.

Outside of the go-go bars it’s a bit of a carnival atmosphere. You’ve messenger and delivery motorbikes racing up and down the pedestrian street, guys walking elephants (they want you to buy food from them to feed to the elephant), street vendors cooking up grasshoppers and cockroaches (the girls from the north-east area of Thailand love them), girls shouting “Hello! Welcome. Just one drink!” from every bar doorway, and gaggles of tourists and expats like the guys Kong rips off in the movie.

Some people might consider it seedy but it reminds me of Amsterdam’s red light district in a lot of ways. It’s generally safe (despite what you see Kong do in the movie) and often you see tourist couples sitting in the bars and chatting with the girls. And maybe that’s the thing. It’s only as seedy as you make it. A guy and his wife on vacation in Thailand probably don’t get to really sit down and spend time chatting with Thais who speak decent English so they plop themselves down at a bar in Soi Cowboy and the Thai girls will chat all day with them as long as the drinks keep flowing. And the Thai girls tend to be naturally fun and interesting to talk to so the tourists get to think they’ve met some real Thai people and had a meaningful and fun interaction with them and the girl gets a cut of every drink they buy for her so it’s win-win for everyone.

There are two other similar zones, Patpong and Nana. Patpong is really only a shadow of what it used to be. It’s been taken over by a night market and when I was there with a friend looking for some non-go-go bar where they had an Elvis impersonator (long story) I didn’t even recognize the place. It had been 5 or so years since I had last been around Patpong. Back then it was more like Soi Cowboy. Actually it was worse which is the reason business has died over there. The scams and such just got too egregious.

The other nightlife scenes are of a place called the Caribbean where Cage’s character sends Kong to pick up communications from a coyote dancer named Aom (I’ll explain coyotes in a minute - bear with me). First off, the club actually does exist and there are several more just like them. And yes, they have dance shows like that in these nightclubs which are called G-Clubs or Membership Clubs. Lastly, yes, Aom is a Thai actress by the name of Panward Hemmanee (she goes by the nickname of Pei - all Thais have nicknames. And based on how hard it is to pronounce some of their real names the nickname idea works just fine for me.).

So here’s the premise, G-Clubs are intended for Asian businessmen to entertain clients but they are not racist so any farang can join as long as you have the means to pay. You basically pay about 30,000 baht (slightly less than $1000 USD) for a 1 year membership. I know some people have fallen out of their chairs but you’re not really buying a membership. What you’re buying is 10 bottles of Chivas or Johnny Walker whiskey. You have one year in which to use up your 10 bottles or the membership expires. Likewise, when you use up your 10 bottles your membership automatically expires. So, you’re paying 3000 baht (slightly less than $100 USD) per bottle for 10 bottles. If you actually do the math on what you would end up paying per measured pour, it’s a bargain.

Membership also entitles you to discounted mixers for your whiskey as well as on other services (to be described).

So, you’re paying a premium price for your booze and you get to see all of these coyote dancers perform . . . meh, so what? Well, first off there are hostesses. If you desire a hostess you are led into a room of attractive and well dressed young ladies in cocktail dresses and you can pick one or as many as you choose. These girls really do look outstanding. They look like they’re ready to go out to the most upscale nightspot in LA or London. They have expensive hair-dos and wear top of the line cosmetics.

Once selected they will now come back to your table and basically they chat with you and try to make sure you have a good time. Unlike the go-go dancers on Soi Cowboy, Patpong, and Nana these girls typically are well educated and speak English (or Japanese or Chinese) very well so this being oriented towards entertaining business clients you can bring the girls back to your table, have some drinks with them, and make it into a social thing rather than a business thing which is the Asian way of doing business. You have to pay for a certain number of drinks per hour for the girls and the drinks run pretty expensive (500 baht - close to $18 USD).

Oh, and the coyote dancers . . . okay, these too are usually university educated or still in college. When they’re done dancing they’re free to roam around the place and hit up guys who want their company for drinks. In fact there is a scene in Bangkok Dangerous where Kong goes to meet Aom and she’s getting a little cozy with a customer. That happens too. Both the hostesses and the coyotes will get as cheeky and flirty as the customers want . . . within certain limits. They’re not prostitutes. They’ll put up with some drunken groping and such but there are boundaries. One hostess I spoke with told me that the Thais acted like an octopus and always had their hands all over them. She said the farangs tended to be pretty well behaved which is why she prefers farang customers. Then again, she’s paid to tell me what I want to hear so who the hell knows what the truth is?

The coyotes run a similar system of having to pay a certain number of drinks per hour (actually, it’s only 40 minutes but the math is easier by the hour) but they are more expensive than the hostesses. A hostess you are required to buy two drinks the first hour and then a drink every hour afterwards. Coyotes get three drinks the first hour and then a drink every hour.

Coyote dancers have become somewhat the rage in Thailand over the last few years. They are hired for all kinds of events from car shows to special nightclub openings. They know how to dance and they often have choreographed numbers that are like watching an MTV video. There was even some controversy awhile back when some government bigwig proposed banning coyote dancers at certain types of events because they posed a threat to morality or some sort of crap like that.

I have to say that in most G-Clubs (or at least the successful ones) the hostesses and coyotes are absolutely stunning. Many are actually models when they aren’t working at the club. The girl who plays Aom would be just a normal coyote in most G-Clubs. So all of this paying for the company of some dancers and hostesses is not like going to a strip club or a Bangkok go-go bar. They’re usually pretty intelligent, educated, have a great personality, and love the fact that you’re paying to get them boozed up. They’re not for sale (for sex) so you go with a few buddies, pay for some company to keep things lively, everyone has a great time.

You can also go as a non-member but notch up all the prices. Members get to whack 10% off of the price for extra services (hostess and coyote time spent with you) as well as mixers and non-members are charged a 10% non-member fee on top of their bill at the end of the evening.

And just in case you’re curious, no I have no been to the Caribbean. It’s a little out of the way for me. I have been to another G-Club called the St. Moritz which is a stone’s throw from my hotel. Similar sort of experience. I have some friends who are members at the Caribbean and the other G-Clubs and it’s pretty much the same business model in all of them with the only major differences being prices, music played, and ratio of girls to customers.

So that’s how the movie Bangkok Dangerous stacks up against real life. But that’s just the go-gos and G-Clubs. There’s tons of other stuff to do at night here.

What about the rest of the movie?

Well, I didn’t think it was especially strong. I’ve seen the original Thai version of this movie and I liked the original much better despite the lower production quality. In the original it was all Thai actors and the story was told from the perspective of a deaf-mute assassin. There are elements that are similar between the two like the main character’s love interest in the pharmacy clerk and the eventual realization that what he was doing was harming the Thai people but other than that the 2008 version is only loosely based on the 1999 original.

I just couldn’t buy the whole premise that Cage’s character would be so moved by an offhanded comment made by Kong that he screws up killing the PM. Okay, maybe if you lived in Thailand for awhile and you could connect with the people and understand the politics then maybe I get it. But some guy who only knows two people in all of Thailand it makes it a little hard to buy.

Some people have debated whether or not the politician Cage decides not to kill is Thaksin Shinawatra the former PM of Thailand who was ousted in 2006 in a bloodless military coup. He’s a bit of controversial figure here as, at the core, he’s the reason for the airport closures by the PAD. Thaksin is a hero to the poor people of Isaan who comprise most of the population of the country. Kong’s comment that he’s a good man and that he does many good things for the poor just strikes too close to what the people from Isaan say about Thaksin for me to totally dismiss the argument.

I say he was the core reason for the airport closures because the PAD was protesting that the then government was basically a puppet government for Thaksin living in exile. A hard argument to refute when your brother-in-law is the PM and most of the MP’s that were in your political party still call you the big boss.

An approved screenplay had to have been on the table when he was either in power or just after the coup so that phrase about being a good man and helping the poor just seems too coincidental. Especially when you consider all the attention to detail the directors paid in other parts of the film.

In truth the guy is as corrupt as they come. He and his faithful have made fortunes in bogus land deals and such. They simply realized that the vast majority of the population is poor and if you spend a little government cash to improve their lives they will love you and completely overlook the fact that you’re robbing the country blind.

Thaksin or coincidence? Not sure.

I also had problems with the scene where he kills the muggers because it just didn’t make sense. First, Thai on farang violent crime is very rare. Yeah, sure if you got drunk and passed out in the park your wallet, watch, and anything you had on you would be gone when you woke up but it would be very rare that a Thai would use violence in order to commit a crime against a farang. From time to time you hear about some farang getting murdered here and there or a jealous girlfriend who takes a knife to her farang boyfriend but the former are usually when the guy is messed up with the criminal underworld in some way and the later is a crime of passion.

And then for him to kill the muggers just lost me. If his big rule is to be invisible then shooting two muggers in the park with your girlfriend standing right there doesn’t seem like a very smart thing to do. Just give them the wallet and be done with it.

I did get a kick out of the little glimpses into Bangkok (Thai) lifestyle. The scene with the elephant is something you will see daily. Personally, I hate this practice and refuse to ever support it but in the movie Cage’s love interest, Fon (I don’t think they ever say her name in the film but she says that her name means rain which is “fon” in Thai and is a very common nickname), buys a sack of bananas and Cage feeds them to the elephant. Elephants aren’t meant to be marched up and down major city streets. They should be out in the jungles/forests where they belong. I would be more than happy to contribute to an elephant habitat but I refuse to encourage these people by buying the elephant food so they can use it to pay themselves for exploiting these animals.

In fact, I was reading in the paper the other day about some elephant that went on a rampage and destroyed several cars. The “owner” brought the elephant from the forests to Bangkok and then decided he needed to go visit his family and left the elephant without food for three days. The poor creature went crazy from hunger and started smashing stuff up. The police had to feed it to calm it down enough that they could take it into custody. These are the morons you’re supporting when you pay 20 baht for a bag full of bananas to feed to the elephants.

The first date between Cage’s character and Fon made me laugh. First dates with a conservative Thai woman are usually dinner at a family style restaurant. She orders for both and because it’s a Thai restaurant for Thais even the non-spicy dishes are very spicy for farang tastes. So yes, the farang spends the entire meal wiping sweat from his brow and reaching for the water glass every second. Meanwhile his Thai date is usually giggling the way Fon did at the obvious physical discomfort being caused by her meal choices.

One thing I have to give to the Pang brothers who directed both the original and remake is that they picked up on very subtle aspects of Thai culture like the fact that when the food arrives she serves him the tom yum goong before serving herself. That’s very Thai. In the way that a man might hold out a chair or open the door for a lady, this is a similar custom except on the part of the lady to show that she can be a good wife or girlfriend. I’ve even seen some women peel the skin off the prawns (shrimp) for their dates. That would have been an interesting thing to see in the movie.

There are other subtle things that are unique to Thailand that the directors picked up on too that are difficult to explain. There are scenes that seem absolutely authentic. Be it the hairstyles of various characters or things going on in the background of a scene that are simply Thailand (well, Bangkok to be specific).

And then there are things that just seemed to be funny commentary on Thai life. For instance, when Kong buys Aom the expensive earnings. The way I read that scene was that the fastest way to a coyote dancer’s heart is through your wallet. And if you’ve ever met any of these girls . . . it’s so dead on.

So all in all, I thought Bangkok Dangerous had a weak story but I got a kick out of stuff that people who have not been to Thailand might not really appreciate. I thought the original which was in Thai, with Thai actors, and was aimed at a Thai audience was a much better flick even if you had to do the subtitles to understand it.

Anyway, thanks to all who have been concerned and sent emails. Thanks to those who have asked me about Thailand or Bangkok. Things are starting to wind down here with only about 2 more weeks left to go on this holiday so I should be back in the swing of things after the new year.

Posted on Dec 23.08 to Travel | 5 Comments »  

Funny story that is typical Bangkok:

A friend of mine wanted to catch a bite to eat and go up to Vertigo for drinks (she had never been before). There’s a Korean BBQ place up near my hotel so we met there for dinner.

We ordered some beef and they cooked it in the little cooker embedded in the center of the table. When the food was well cooked they remove the heat source and we feast away.

We were pretty far into the meal and had eaten most of the beef. I go over to snatch up a piece of the remaining beef and there’s a huge cockroach in the bowl in the center of the table munching down on my food. He wasn’t just huge. He was f-ing HUGE! After they removed the heat source he must have crawled up under the table and right through one of the heat vents into the cooking area. Or maybe he’s heat resistant. Who knows, this is Thailand.

I look up from the bowl, look at my friend, she looks looks at the bowl and we both look at each other with the OMFG look. She immediately calls for the check. In Thailand there’s no such thing as lodging a complaint and getting the meal for free or anything like that so that’s not even on the table as an option. Really the only thing to do is to pay the check and leave before you lose what you’ve already had of your meal.

I take out a napkin and she starts pleading with me not to kill it (Buddhist thing I guess). I laugh and tell her I’m not going to kill it. I spread the napkin out to it’s full size and drape it over the bowl so we don’t have to look at it while we wait for the check.

I paid the bill and when we left I suggested that instead of a taxi we just go get the cockroach and ride him over to Vertigo. For some reason she wasn’t amused.

Nice surprise:

I got a text message the other day from my good amigo Sander. He was in Bangkok for a few days before heading down to Phuket. We met up over on Silom at a pub downstairs from his hotel. Shot some pool, had some beers, and had a good time.

Next day we met up at Siam Paragon before heading over to MBK. We ended the night up on Sukhumvit (my territory) where we hit a few pool bars.

Sander just made it out of BKK airport before the protesters seized it. I got a text message from him indicating that he’s sunning himself down in Phuket. I wish I could join but . . . nothing is going into or out of Bangkok’s airports right now.

Coups and Airport Seizures

Big protests kicked off here this week. Anti-government forces which have been holding the main government building hostage since August decided to stage a final stand. The relatively unarmed protesters (mostly pipes and a pistol here and there) over-ran the old Don Muang airport and in the last few days have captured the new Suvarnabhumi airport meaning people can’t get out of BKK and most airlines refuse to fly into BKK either. The government’s stance seems to be to let them do what they want because they are doing more damage to their reputation than the government could ever do.

If the government came out and tried to put down the protests with force people would inevitably get hurt. The anti-government protesters would use that as an excuse to escalate their protests and gain sympathy from the Thai people. But the government keeps backing down on the use of force and letting the protesters look like uncompromising fools bent on destroying the country to get their way.

To date, the government’s plan has worked. Support for the anti-government protesters has dropped sharply. When they seized and closed down the main international airport in a country that relies heavily on tourism the anti-government protesters basically sent a message to Thais and the world that they are willing to devastate their own economy rather than sit down at a negotiating table and try to work things out. For them, it’s their way or the highway.

Many Thais who sympathized with them have since become repulsed by their willingness to go to the nuclear option (figuratively, not literally). This year was already shaping up to be down compared to last year in terms of tourism but to all but drive a stake through the heart of tourism in order to achieve cloudy political objectives doesn’t sit well the average Thai who directly or indirectly benefits from tourism in their country.

But as long as you don’t need to fly anywhere you wouldn’t even know any of this was going on. Sure it’s covered on the front page of all the local rags but the farang (foreigner) parts of town are so far removed from the protests that it hasn’t impacted anything here. Bars and nightclubs are packed every night. Shopping malls are full. Nothing is different unless you are at the government house (parliament) or trying to fly into or out of the country.

The heart of the problem here is a class war going on. The anti-government protesters essentially represent the elitists. And the current government is populist.

It’s really an interesting dynamic to watch. The anti-government PAD (People’s Alliance for Democracy) doesn’t actually believe in democracy. They think that the poor people are too dumb to vote so they want to take away the one person, one vote parliamentary style democracy and replace it with a parliamentary style democracy in which a controlling number of seats are appointed (I assume by the king). Guess who would be in those appointed seats? If you guessed the leaders of PAD then you get a nice big cookie.

The existing government basically figured out how to work the system. Since the vast, vast majority of people in Thailand live in poverty they campaigned on doing something for them. Farm loans, public works projects, etc. Not too surprisingly this worked and people voted for these candidates in overwhelming numbers.

Now I hope you can see the conflict here. If the government is pandering to all of those poor people who’s left to pander to the elite? The elite like being pandered to and nobody is listening to them. Out of that frustration the PAD was born. PADs only mission is to tear down the populist government in the hopes of re-writing the constitution in a way that guarantees them more power and the poor people with less. They want to return to the days when the military ran the country and they could use their connections and wealth to influence the government.

They were partially successful in 2006 when they convinced the military to stage a coup and topple the government run by Thaksin Shinawatra. The military re-wrote the constitution and they thought they had everything pretty much to their liking but those pesky poor people kept voting for people the elitists didn’t like and so here they are again pushing for another coup so they can get a second crack at re-writing the constitution and closing all those democratic loopholes that allow the common people to have a voice in government.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the current government is a sham too. Both the Thaksin Shinawatra government and the current government (which many claim is simply a puppet government being secretly run by Thaksin) run by his brother-in-law are first class scam artists. Both Thaksin and his wife have been found guilty of crimes and they are on the run from the Thai justice system. Thaksin temporarily returned to Thailand to clear his name but after his lawyers were caught on video trying to meet with the justices hearing his case carrying pastry boxes filled with cash Thaksin realized that he wasn’t going to be able to buy his way out of the mess and fled.

It seems like half the party is on trial for vote buying. Why you would buy votes when the people are voting for you overwhelmingly is beyond me. Government land being sold cheap to the PM laws being changed to avoid paying taxes . . . these guys do it all.

This whole deal at the airport is simply PAD trying to push the hand of the military. They’re trying to make it look like the current government is unable to manage the country which would mean that the military has no other option but to stage a coup and restore order.

Conferences and trade shows have already begun canceling their dates in Thailand. Tour booking agents have said that customer numbers have dropped through the floor. Hotels that normally see 60% - 80% occupancy rates this time of year are only 20% full. Major investors have pulled out or are putting projects on hold. There’s even talk that many airlines may be thinking about avoiding Bangkok as a major international hub due to the risk of having too many expensive planes on the ground in a country that seems politically unstable. Oh and that whole world-wide credit crunch isn’t helping things much either as a lot of jobs in Thailand are in factories producing parts and goods that are exported to the very same countries taking the biggest financial hits.

According to one source the potential tourism losses just through the end of the year could run as high as $4.2 billion - about 1.5% of the country’s GDP. And the Tourism Council of Thailand predicts that up to 20% of direct or indirect tourism jobs could vanish as a result.

The bottom line is that the government can no longer do nothing. They have to act. And if they don’t act the military will act for them. I don’t think anyone familiar with the situation would have ever imagined in their worst case scenario that PAD protesters would seize Bangkok’s two major airports. The cost in lost tourism and cargo has to be running into the millions of dollars a day. Worse yet is the damage being done to the reputation of Thailand.

I’ve talked with a few Thai people and whether they love or hate Thaksin they all seem to agree that this is horrible for their country. They are ashamed of the actions of PAD and angry that the government has allowed it to happen. Then again, I’m sure many of those same people would have been angry had the government violently put down the protests when they should have back when PAD took over the government building in August. It’s almost as if it had to play out this way in order for the people to be so disgusted that if several dozen people are killed re-taking the airport most Thais will feel that it was worth it.

Rumors amongst the expats here is that tanks are already maneuvering around Bangkok. Most are betting on a coup. Things could get real ugly if there is an attempt to re-take the airport. While not heavily armed the PAD has had three days to dig in. They’ve already blocked roads into and out of the main airport with water trucks and debris as well as putting up barbed wire perimeters within the airport.

According to the press the Thai PM has asked for supporters to block the main roads into and out of Bangkok in the event that the military attempts a coup. The military claims that it does not think a coup is the right course of action but the head of the army made a statement that he thought that the situation could be resolved if the government dissolved and held new elections.

Personally that sounds like an asinine solution. It would defuse the immediate situation but all that would happen is that new elections would be held, the people would elect a government that looks pretty much like the current one, and PAD would start protesting again.

All that being said, it’s 100% safe here. My plans for the evening are to go meet up with some friends on soi 22 for a party. We’ll probably close that place and hit a few nightclubs. In Thailand, not even a coup or rumors of a coup can stop people from having fun.

Posted on Nov 28.08 to Poker | 5 Comments »  

While I usually agree with Nat Arem on a lot of topics I’m not sure I can go along with him on his Hierarchy of Cheating in Poker.

In case you are too lazy to go read his post allow me to boil his argument down to a few points (Nat, correct me if you think I’m oversimplifying).

* Different types of cheating have different levels of severity

* Treating all types of cheating as equal is unfair

Now, I agree with Nat that not all cheating is equal but where I think his argument gets thin is in how he makes certain types of comparisons. For instance, I believe there is a difference in taking over someone’s account in mid-tournament and entering yourself multiple times in a tournament. The former I can see being done either out of perceived necessity (didn’t think you would make it that deep and you have another pressing matter to attend to) or plain ignorance. On the other hand, common sense would tell you that entering a tournament under several different accounts is a big no-no. The mere fact that you have to work around safeguards employed by the poker room should be your first clue.

But where I disagree with Nat is when he blurs the line between high stakes and low stakes. In his hierarchy it seems as if Phil Ivey taking over your account has different levels of severity based on whether the buy-in was $5 or $5000.

2 Playing on a second account when people don’t know it’s you playing on the account and the opponents would probably not adjust for your play if they did know it was you. Examples include the recent incident of Seal playing on “Soiled Deck” and winning a $5 donkament.

3 Playing on a second account when people don’t know it’s you playing on the account and the opponents would adjust for your play if they did know it was you. An example is what atimos did when he switched accounts.

While I’ll agree that overall the level of play in a $5 is likely different than in a higher buy-in tournament that does not mean that the opponent you face off against couldn’t have adjusted. Maybe you’re playing against a very good tournament player who is working his bankroll back up after going busto. Maybe the opponent is better than his bankroll allows because he lives in some third-world backwater. To simply assume that because it’s only a $5 tournament that the cheating is different than playing at higher stakes where you expect the competition to be more perceptive is where I think Nat and I have a disagreement.

Nat has several different analogies so allow me to throw in one of my own. While stealing toothpicks is a different crime than rape or murder it shouldn’t matter who you steal the toothpicks from. If I decide to mug people should my crime be treated differently based on whether I mug them in Beverly Hills or South Central? Wouldn’t one assume that someone in South Central would be better prepared to ward off my mugging and/or be carrying a weapon themselves?

Another area where I think Nat and I would disagree is in the area of intent. I agree with several of his points in creating his hierarchy simply because I can see where a less experienced player might not completely understand the ramifications of his actions. Some n00bie asking his roommate to take over his game while he runs down to Taco Bell could be written off as simple ignorance of the rules. Meanwhile if I were that friend he asked to play one would expect that I know better. A professional or semi-professional player knows he’s violating the rules and he knows what the possible consequences are. If he then violates the rules then I don’t feel any leniency should be afforded.

All in all, I don’t disagree with Nat’s overall premise that not all cheating is created equal. But I also think that Nat’s sample includes a lot of high-profile names or incidents and does not reflect how the rules and penalties are applied on a day to day basis. There are different levels of severity however I think intent is a bigger determining factor than stakes when it comes to applying penalties.

Posted on Nov 15.08 to Is Online Poker Rigged?, Online Poker, Poker | 1 Comment »  

Just to prove the point that the person who coined the phrase “getting there is half the fun” was either a liar or traveled to some pretty crappy places, I sat on the tarmac waiting to head to Bangkok for four hours on Tuesday.

When the pilot announced that due to some difficulties we had to return to the gates I assumed that we were having some sort of mechanical problems. Of course, by this point we were already two hours behind schedule so my connecting flight in Taipei was already a no go.

I asked on of the attendants how long she thought it would take and she said that she wasn’t sure. She said that someone onboard was sick and needed to be removed from the plane.

Of course, that didn’t explain why we had to taxi for over a half hour to the middle of nowhere.

When several LAPD officers boarded the plane, began removing the carry-on luggage of one of the passengers, and talking in hushed tones to the attendants it started to become clear that nobody was sick.

The pilot would later come clean and announce that a passenger had made a bomb threat and that they were removing the passenger and his luggage from the aircraft. The bomb-sniffing dogs did their job in the luggage hold of the plane and everything was declared kosher.

Apart from that, I think EVA Airlines runs a pretty good service. The seats were pretty comfortable for economy and the attendants were exceptionally nice. And either the isles are especially wide on their aircraft or the attendants are especially thin because not once in the 12 or so hours in the air did an attendant slam into me walking down the isle.

When I got to Taipei they had already booked me on the next flight to Bangkok. It was leaving in a half hour so there wasn’t any dallying around. I scurried across the terminal and got to my flight just in time. To my surprise my checked luggage made it and I was a happy camper.

It wouldn’t be Suvarnabhumi airport if the taxi drivers didn’t attempt to rape you outside the terminal. I’ve wised up and don’t exit arrivals at Suvarnabhumi (where they attempt to charge 900 baht for a taxi into the city). I go upstairs to departures and try to catch a metered taxi. Well f-me if the scammers hadn’t caught on that people like me were wise to them and they stationed scammers upstairs.

“Taxi boss?”

“Metered?”

“Yes, meter. 500 baht.”

“Well if you’re telling me what it costs before you even know where I’m going it isn’t exactly metered is it?”

I brushed him off and went up to the first driver standing there not looking like he cared if I needed a taxi or not. I asked him if he would turn on his meter and he enthusiastically said he would.

As we sped away he shared his thoughts about his fellow taxi drivers. Without having heard my conversation with the scammer he said, “500 baht too much. Not good. Make business bad for everyone.” Obviously they try to get everyone for 500 baht. Actual cost on the meter was about 200 baht. I gave the guy 300 just for being honest. Well that and the fare came to 200 and change and having just changed money all I had was big bills. Either way, I try to reward taxi drivers who are on the up and up.

But the travel karma gods weren’t done with me yet. When I came to Bangkok last Christmas they were holding their first post-coup elections. Whenever they hold elections they ban alcohol sales for a few days (usually the day before and on election day). I arrived on election day.

When I came again earlier this year in April the king’s sister had just died so they had all sorts of mourning events. They didn’t ban alcohol sales but the mood was a little more somber than I would have liked.

Well guess whose funeral is happening this weekend? If you guessed the previously mentioned king’s sister then you win a prize. I’m not sure what they do with the body for the six months between death and the formal funeral but from what I can piece together they’re going to cremate her on Friday, take the ashes somewhere on Saturday, and the bones someplace else on Sunday.

Okay, more guessing games for you. How does this impact me? If you guessed a ban on alcohol sales and all nightclubs being shut down then you’ve guessed correct. The worst part is, this being Thailand and all, nobody can gave you the straight scoop. Police sent out notices to all the bars telling them they were strongly encouraged to shut down Fri – Sun.

Now, if you own a entertainment venue (bar, nightclub, etc) in Thailand you probably make regular donations to your favorite charity (the policeman’s second wife, gambling, and drinking fund) which buys you the inside scoop on whether or not the coppers will actually enforce the laws or at least at what time they plan to make their raid so you can make sure to be in full compliance for the 20 or so minutes it takes them to go through the motions. So far I’ve yet to hear two bar owners give you the same story about who has to close and whether or not anybody will comply with the law.

So far, I’ve heard nothing being open Fri – Sun, bars allowed to open on Sat but closed Fri and Sun, and bars closed Fri and Sat but allowed to open on Sun. Oh, and then there’s the flaunting it factor. If you’re a nightclub you better shut the doors. If you’re a restaurant that also serves booze then keep it respectful and the boys in brown (BIB) will look the other way.

Oh well, we’ll see how the weekends shapes up.

Side note on one of the reasons Thailand rocks: I went to go get a hair cut today. I stumbled into the first salon I saw on Sukhumvit and asked for a trim. This gal treated the hair cut like brain surgery. She must have changed adapters on her shears ten times during the cut. She finished me off with a straight edge shave around my sideburns and the back of my neck. Then she motioned me over to a reclining chair and tweezed the ear hairs in each ear.

While she was going crazy on my ears they asked if I would like a manicure and pedicure. What the hell I’m already laid out in perfect position for both. I’ve got one girl sticking god knows what in my ears (I’m pretty sure at one point she burned something in my ear), one girl cutting my fingernails and another doing my toenails.

The whole package concluded with a half hour neck, scalp, foot, and hand massage.

Total cost for 2+ hours of pampering? Less than $25.

Posted on Nov 14.08 to Travel | No Comments »  

I decided to leave Party Gaming awhile back. I notified the MD and we worked out a succession plan. Last Friday was my last day in the office.

First off, before any 2+2 wild rumors start swirling around . . . it has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I wanted to pursue a different challenge. Nothing mysterious or scandalous (sorry guys). I simply found I had gotten to a point where it felt like I wanted to do something else.

What that challenge is and where I’m off to next is something I’ll discuss in another post. I’ll still be involved with poker and I’ll let you know when and where at a later point.

Getting to this point in this post has been easy but I must have ten or more drafts of this post’s second half. After a great deal of soul searching I’ve decided not to mention specific people and what they’ve meant to me whether they be mentor, colleague, or friend (or any combination of the above).

Even though regular readers may fault me for my tendency to lean towards the verbose my previous drafts put my other posts to shame as it pertains to length. Yet even then I would finish a draft and remember people who I had forgot to mention or incidents I wanted to share.

Perhaps one day I’ll share those drafts privately with those with those mentioned but I highly doubt it due to my fear that people may begin spreading rumors that I am not the cruel, heartless bastard I try to make people believe that I am. Let’s just say that if we worked closely together, broke bread together, shared a few pints together, traveled (voluntarily) together, or I’ve given you a nick-name (other than jerk) then you were in one of those previous drafts and I will miss you.

Random Parting Shots

I’m taking some time off before the new adventure begins. If you know me that means I’ll be traveling. So far my trip spans 25,000 miles in the next two and a half months without including side trips.

I’m writing this sitting in the upper class lounge for Virgin Atlantic and to quote/paraphrase Ferris Bueller; If you have the means, I highly recommend it. Don’t worry, I haven’t suddenly become wealthy. I bought the economy ticket and used my miles to upgrade.

Because my internet access will be spotty I don’t know when I will be able to post the words I am writing now. As I write this it is April Nov 4th, election day in the US, and every channel in the Heathrow Virgin Atlantic lounge is trained on the election coverage. The Financial Times even has an entire section devoted to how to make an affair out of watching the election.

I’ll land too late to vote (and in the wrong state) but based on polls I’ll pretty much know who the next president of the United States is as soon as I see a television or hear the radio when I land.

Last night I spent the evening in the Gatwick Yo Hotel. If you don’t know about this chain it is modeled on the Japanese pod hotels. It’s nothing more than a room just big enough to fit a bed and a shower. You rent the room by the hour and they are aimed at travelers who simply want a place to stay between flights. Catch some sleep, take a shower, and catch your flight. All without ever leaving the airport.

The room is so small that in normal configuration the bed sits up like an oversized sofa. You press a button and the bed mechanically extends itself to full lay-down position. There’s a 27” television on the wall, no dressers, nor closets. Attached to the bedroom is a no frills shower in which the sink, toilet, and shower are all in the same confined area. At most, it’s one step from the bed to the bathroom.

To be honest, I found it to be quite nice for its intended purpose. I wouldn’t book it for a week long stay but if you find yourself needing a play to stay for 6 – 12 hours and don’t want to fork over the cash, taxi fares, etc that would be involved in booking a regular hotel this is a very nice option. In my case, my cost was about 33% of what I would have paid for one of the other Gatwick hotels since I would have been charged for a full day.

Anyway, like I said, I’ll be traveling so updates should be be a little infrequent for the next week or so.

Posted on Nov 08.08 to General Ramblings, Online Poker, Poker, Travel | 4 Comments »  

Hell no, we won’t go!!!

Posted on Oct 29.08 to Poker | No Comments »  

Much is made in poker literature about defending your blinds but less is said about defending your button. It is very important that you try and play as many pots as possible when on the button, as you can use the sledgehammer of position to really put your opponents to the test. In the current poker climate, where many players are starting to play a very aggressive and loose style, you will frequently have a raise in front of you before the action gets around to you on the button. It is important to send a message to the players at your table that you will not allow them to continually raise when you are in position.

By playing lots of pots on the button, you will quickly start to make it clear that you will not give up position lightly - players quickly notice that they always sem to be playing pots out of position with a specific player and try and adjust their behaviour accordingly. The button is an incredibly important position in any form of poker that has rotating blinds - the largest percentage of your profit will come from it (particularly if playing short handed where position is extremely important due to the much larger number of decisions players have to make).

If you want to see the effects of this for yourself, simply download any of the available poker tracking software and look at your positional statistics - you will quickly see that the button is by far the most profitable position, followed by the cut off, then the hijack and so on around to the blinds where your profit will turn to a loss.

Playing in position as often as possible is perhaps the most important concept that has to be grasped in order to become a successful poker player. Because of this, it is imperative that you do as much as possible to a) play as many pots as possible when on the button; and b) do your utmost to make the table wary of opening when you are on the button - giving you the best chance at not only being the first player to raise, but also to do it in position on the players holding the reason your at the table - those sitting in the all important blinds.

Remember that your time on the button will always be the most profitable of your time at the table. Protecting it and playing on it are critical to poker success and you forget this at your peril.

To read more poker articles by Marcus Bateman head over to the Betfair Poker Blogs

Posted on Oct 19.08 to Poker, Poker Strategy | 2 Comments »  

As a long time reader of Bill’s blog, when I saw there was an opportunity to write here, I knew I couldn’t pass it up. My expertise really falls further on the business and affiliate side of online poker versus the player side. Nonetheless, you can occasionally find me relaxing in the evenings after a long days work playing in SNG’s or smaller MTT’s.

Over 90% of the time I fail to cash in the tournaments. Okay fine, I admit it I am a donkey. I play far too aggressive, I don’t even know how to calculate pot odds, nor do I play each position properly. If you are ever sat at tournament table with me, you should probably be looking to double through me before anyone else.

But the beauty of it is, I know there are far better player out there than me, and that I’ll probably have to get lucky to win. This doesn’t bother me though. I love to gamble, and I find playing in MTT’s a couple nights a week to be relaxing. The money I win or lose is completely discretionary and makes no difference in my day to day life.

So this leads me to the point of this article. Why is there so much focus by the PPA and others on selling that poker is a skill game to the U.S. government. The fact is that less than 20% of regular online poker players are true “winning players”(It’s probably even less, I don’t know the exact statistic). The other 80% however are either break even or losing players.

Of course there is no question that poker is a skill game, I’m not arguing that. As poker players we are well aware of this. But when the numbers show that such a small percentage of players are actually profitable, I think it makes for a weak argument to our government. Sure, many people reading this blog are in that 20% and have mastered the skill of being a winning online poker player. A lot of the readers here even play poker for a living. I have much respect and envy for you guys.

But the reality is that a HUGE majority of online players are people with regular full time jobs who are playing with discretionary income, and doing so for recreation and entertainment. Put your hands up if you’re like me and would rather sit with your laptop playing a SNG than watch another episode of “Dancing With The Stars” with your wife.

There is nothing wrong with playing for fun and recreation either. That’s why poker is one of America’s greatest past times. Hell, I could spend the same $50 at the local watering hole getting plastered, destroying my body, and risking others lives driving home. Instead I choose to spend MY money in the comfort of my own home playing the greatest game in the world, poker. There are thousands of worse things I could be spending my money on.

The government can argue about the potential for addiction all they want, fair enough. But if they are really looking out for the people, then get rid of cigarettes, booze, porn, strip clubs, and every other vice out there.

The better argument should be focused on the fact that as American citizens we pay through the nose on taxes. If the United States government can spend trillions of our tax dollars on bailouts that include $500K AIG parties; well then for the love of God let me escape reality television in the evenings, and allow me to play a $10 SNG online. Furthermore the U.S. does not own the internet. When I login into an online gaming site, I am playing cards and transacting money on a server that is based in a legal jurisdiction.

Let’s call a spade a spade here. If gambling is so evil in the government’s eyes, then why is it that I could go into my local gas station every morning and buy $100 worth of scratch off tickets? Obviously the answer is taxes, we all know that. The whole point of this article however is that as tax paying, law abiding citizens, we should be able to exercise our first amendment rights and spend our money any way we please. My guess is that less than 5% of individuals who play online poker are what you would consider a professional winning poker player. For that 5% the skill game argument is great. For the rest of us however, we should be arguing that this so call prohibition known as the UIGEA is unconstitutional.

Please feel free to share your comments on this, as I’m sure there are a wide variety of opinions on the skill game argument. Thanks Bill for giving me the platform to write here.

Jeremy Enke is the founder of the worlds largest poker affiliate forum and a leading consultant in the poker affiliate market. More of his thoughts and ramblings can be found in his personal blog at www.JeremyEnke.com

Posted on Oct 19.08 to Is Online Poker Legal?, Online Poker, Poker | 4 Comments »  

The always articulate Haley Hintze left a comment on a post I made the other day about online poker being rigged which I wanted to respond to. I felt that it would make a better post than a comment so here we go.

Hiya, Bill!

This an example where I think Ed is serving the greater good, whether or not everything he says can be supported. I’ve thought about posting on this myself, but whether I do or not, I think Stars is in clear error here. One reason is technical and the other is philosophical.

Reason 1: There are clear guidelines for how triple draw is supposed to be dealt. I disremember if that game is in Lou Krieger and Sheree Bykofsky’s “The Rules of Poker” (that’ll be 50 cents, guys!) but I’m absolutely sure the printed rules are out there somewhere. So the “because we can” argument as stated by Stars is meritless.

Second, Stars needs to -not- do things that give any sort of mathematical credence to the “online poker is rigged” crowd. Mathematically, the effect of the change made will involve a very slight juicing of the results and will result in something like one extra player being in the pot maybe every thousandth hand in triple draw, and maybe a little more frequently in badugi. It therefore increases rake by some tiny, all-but-imperceptible amount. When it’s measured statistically, it’s probably down in the four- or five-decimal-point range regarding its effect on play. It’s negligible in triple draw because there are almost never enough players in a hand to bring a reshuffle into play.

But even if it’s an unnoticeable juicing, it’s still a juicing that exists in the mathematical sense, and can therefore be used as a mathematical “proof” that the game is rigged to increase rake or whatever. It’s the wrong tool to hand to the wrong crowd.

I have no clue which big-name pro came up with the idea, but famous players can still have bad ideas and this one should have been deep-sixed. Was the unknown player on any of the rules committees that have sprung up to promote rules standardization, like Jesse Jones’ WPA? I’d guess not. Hachem’s been on that board, IIRC, so he’s probably not the pro that floated this one.

I’ll skip the rest of the tinfoil hat portion of the discussion.

Stars’ handling of dead blinds is wrong, too. That’s a much greater issue in terms of play because it can affect strategy at the table, but it’s not a “Rigged!” issue that can be used against the site and against online poker in general. That’s the key difference.

For those of you who read Ed’s article Ed actually covered two topics. The first, which I didn’t address in my last post, was what Haley is speaking about.

I agree with both Haley and Ed on this. As the poker room manager at a major online poker site I am often faced with decisions which revolve the integrity of the game. Sometimes a well meaning co-worker will suggest a feature or a change that I feel would violate the integrity of the game. Other times players request changes that would impact the integrity of the game and I have to make an unpopular decision.

The online version of poker allows for things that are not possible in the offline world and so all online poker rooms have to make these types of decisions. Sometimes I agree with how a room has handled something and sometimes I do not. For instance, offline you cannot multi-table (though I have seen Rick Wampler attempt it). Does allowing a player to player in more than one game at a time impact the integrity of the game? In this instance, I don’t think that it does.

However, many rooms will check your hand if there is no action before you and you time out. In my opinion this amounts to acting on the player’s behalf. If you were in a live poker room and it was your turn to act and the dealer checked your hand by moving onto the next player most of the other players would object because his hand, according to the rules of the game, should be mucked. By passing over you the dealer is effectively making a betting decision (not to bet) on your behalf and the one player to a hand rule is violated.

In the Stars example, again, we see a case where you have something that on the surface might appear to be to everyone’s benefit but in effect alters the game and thus violates the integrity of the game. The game no longer follows the rules of triple draw so it should not be called triple draw. Hell, call it “triple draw no duplicates” or “online triple draw” but you can’t maintain the integrity of the game while still calling it triple draw.

While Stars might feel this is a better way to do it they should also recognize that they’ve altered the game. And they should also recognize that people who play triple draw in the offline world won’t be aware that they’ve altered the rules of the game and may be making decisions on hands that assume certain facts which don’t hold true in their version of the game.

Now, I will say that I think Haley stretches it a bit by saying that it’s rigging the game. Rigging a game implies that someone does something which is intended to benefit either a player (or group of players) or the house without the knowledge of the victim(s). While players who are familiar with the offline rules for these games might be at a disadvantage Stars does not seem to be hiding their rules. Likewise, as Haley points out that the amount of extra juice Stars might be making does not appear to be a motive.

If we stretch the definition to that extreme then almost anything the poker room does would be considered rigging as the rooms are incentivized to generate rake. You could say multi-tabling is rigging the game because players playing multiple tables don’t chase as often due to the fact that their attention is too divided so more hands get played per hour and the poker room makes more money*

I can understand the sentiment. I just don’t agree with it. #

I think it would be a shame if there were online and offline versions of poker with different rules and procedures. Sure there will always be differences between the two but a player who plays the game online should be able to expect that the same rules are being applied when they walk into a live card room and vice versa. If a poker room alters the rules they need to give the game a new name so as to avoid the very confusion that standardizing rules is meant to avoid.

* Poker rooms generally make more money on smaller pots with higher turnover than they do on building big pots due to the fact that most rooms cap the rake leaving no extra money to be made.

Posted on Oct 03.08 to Is Online Poker Rigged?, Online Poker, Poker, Poker Strategy | 5 Comments »