How To Play Poker Like The Real Pros

With the recent explosion in popularity of poker it seems as if every Tom, Dick and Harry has written a book on how to play this very simple game. What they don’t tell you are the secrets that make the top pros so good at the game. That ends today. I will share with you all of the insider tips that can make the difference between winning the World Series of Poker and going to the ATM to make another withdrawal.

Secret #1: Image is everything. You must do everything in your power to project an intimidating image. An intimidating image can make other people fold better hands and allows you to win hands with cards like 72 offsuit. One of the best ways to do this is to offhandedly say something like “Wow, just got done making a ton of money off of Chris Moneymaker and Phil Ivey in a private high stakes game so I’m looking to relax a little bit by playing with you guys,” as you sit down at the table.

Secret #2: Make an early impression. Poker is all about bluffing so the more you can do to improve your image as pro the better your results will be. When you first sit down at a table wait for a hand like AA or KK and when the bet gets to you, even if you are in the big blind, throw the cards face-up at the dealer and say “How can you expect me to play crap like this? Deal me some good cards, dammit!” Other players at the table will assume that you only play starting hands better than AA or KK and it will send an icy chill down their spine when they see you enter a hand.

Secret #3: Whenever there’s a bet to you, shout out “Time!” and then stare up at the ceiling. For added effect you may also want to stand up and pace back and forth as you mutter things to yourself.

Secret #4: If someone should be so foolish to raise you, you must calmly look over the top of your sunglasses at your opponent as you ask “I hope you know what you’re doing. Can you beat a royal flush?”

Secret #5: Whenever you’re heads-up with another player and the bet is to you, ask the dealer to count down how many chips your opponent has. Even though you’re playing limit poker this move is very intimidating and may cause the other player to fold.

Secret #6: Often, some new players won’t recognize your pro moves and they’ll actually go all the way to the river with you. This time tested pro-move works about 70% of the time: At the showdown, wait for the other player to turn over their cards and the chuckle as you start raking in the chips while saying “Sorry kid, a [INSERT THEIR HAND HERE] isn’t good enough.” Most newbies don’t expect to win against a pro anyway so they won’t question you.

Secret #7: An effective bluff is to push all of your chips into the pot and say “All in!” The dealer will usually correct you and tell you that you can only raise $X to which you should reply “Oh, sorry. I just get so used to playing no-limit at the World Series of Poker and on the World Poker Tour that sometimes I forget that I can’t go all-in with my monster hands.”

Secret #8: Most pros know that hands like pocket aces and pocket kings are sucker’s hands. If you have two kings and two other people have one king each, your hand can’t improve. Pros prefer to play hands like 72 for several reasons. First, nobody else is likely to hold sevens and twos so when they come on the flop, turn and river . . . you don’t have to worry that they helped anyone else. Second, nobody would ever guess you would play that hand so even some of the best players in the world can’t guess your hand. Third, Four twos beat two aces. It’s not how big the cards are it?s how many of them you have.

Secret #9: If you’ve heard WPT announcer Mike Sexton say it once, you’ve heard him say it a million times, the mark of a great poker player is being able to fold monster hands. In order to impress your opponents, pick an appropriate hand where you know you have everyone beat. Quads or ace high flush are good hands for this. Then when it’s your turn to bet, whether there?s a bet to you or not, call time and then just sit there acting as if you?re doing some sort of mathematical calculations in your head. After an appropriate amount of time flip your cards face up and say “I’m gonna’ fold this. I just don’t have the odds to go any farther with it.” Most of your opponents don’t know jack about odds so they’ll be very impressed that you not only know about odds but the odds told you to lay down that hand.

Secret #10: Many superstitious players will ask for a deck change or curse the dealer for not giving them good cards. Pros know the deck isn’t magical and that the dealer doesn’t control what cards are dealt. Pros also know that the casino’s shuffling machine can be flawed though and if you think you’re not getting enough good cards you should ask the floorman to swap shuffling machines. If he gives you any lip just ramble off something about standard variance of starting hands and that should shut his trap.

The author is an experienced poker professional who regularly plays .50/$1 poker online and higher stakes games like $1/$2 and $2/$4 in the casinos. His lifetime winnings total in the hundreds of dollars and he can often be found in online and brick and mortar cardrooms instructing other players how to improve their game.