Miami Vice: A Review

Ryan and I caught the five o’clock showing of Miami Vice at the Brenden Theatres at the Palms. It’s a beautiful theatre that reminds of the Arclight in Hollywood.

The one thing I could do with less of was promotion of Johnny Brenden. You know those slides they always play before the previews start? Like every other slide is about Johnny Brenden. Look, it’s Johnny with Sly Stallone. Hey, there’s a fun fact about Johnny’s mom. The most bizarre is a slide that says (and I quote it word for word from the corporate website):

“In Loving Memory
Of my Grandfather/Father
Theodore (Ted) Mann (1916-2001)
Mann Theatres
450 Theatres Nationwide
With love,
Johnny Brenden”

I’m not sure what his family situation is like but for someone to be both his grandfather and father, I think that’s way more information than I need to know.

So on to the movie review. I was a huge, huge fan of Miami Vice back in the 1980’s. Yes, I even owned pastel shirts and jackets. But recently TVLand has been showing the complete Miami Vice library starting from episode one. As I’ve watched these re-runs, I realized what a completely crappy show it was. I mean, what the hell is a vice squad doing investigating a murder case? The best is the series of episodes where Sonny suffers amnesia, forgets that he’s a cop and becomes a big bad drug dealer. He kills a few people, moves tons of drugs into the US, and eventually shoots his partner, Rico, point blank (thank goodness for bullet proof vests). Later he regains his memory and for a good three or four episodes they assign him to desk duty until he recovers. Really?!? Desk duty for murdering people and shooting your partner?

But despite all of that I still love the show (call it a guilty pleasure) and was excited to see the flick. Much like the television show, the premise was amazingly unbelievable. Two FBI agents are killed in the opening sequence and because it was a joint FBI, DEA, Coast Guard, and ATF investigation which has been compromised the head FBI guy decides that two undercover vice cops from Miami should immediately go undercover and find the killers. Yeah, because getting authorization to send two vice cops to Haiti, Cuba, Columbia and other far off places to chase drug dealers without backup, supervision, or any sort of plan is pretty much something any local FBI Director can do without getting authorization.

Now, usually with a plot that thin you’re going to get some pretty good action. Throw Michael Mann on top of the mix and I’m expecting something akin to Heat II. I want me some ‘splosions. But the film is pretty light on the action. There are some very cool scenes here and there but the closest we come to the intense shootout in Heat is some semi-lame gun battle at the end.

The movie ends up being a mixed bag. On one hand, you only care about the characters because of the television show. On the other hand, the characters are nothing like they were on the television show. Sonny is no longer a carefree guy living on a boat with an alligator. Sonny is now this dark, brooding cross between a surfer and a biker. Tubbs goes from being this ultra-hip and sophisticated New Yorker type to a hard-core street dude. Gina goes from brunette and ditzy to blonde, bullet-proof vest wearing commando.

The one good thing I’ll say about it is that it’s beautifully shot. Very pleasing visually.

Bottom line: If you were a big fan of Miami Vice in the 1980’s you might enjoy it for sentimental value. If you’ve never seen the show (shame on you even if you were too young) then it’s a pretty weak film. In addition to a shaky plot line you have these characters that never quite develop into anything you could care about. That usually makes for a good action flick but Mann decided to go more for the drama angle which doesn’t quite click with a plot that thin.