Just to prove the point that the person who coined the phrase “getting there is half the fun” was either a liar or traveled to some pretty crappy places, I sat on the tarmac waiting to head to Bangkok for four hours on Tuesday.
When the pilot announced that due to some difficulties we had to return to the gates I assumed that we were having some sort of mechanical problems. Of course, by this point we were already two hours behind schedule so my connecting flight in Taipei was already a no go.
I asked on of the attendants how long she thought it would take and she said that she wasn’t sure. She said that someone onboard was sick and needed to be removed from the plane.
Of course, that didn’t explain why we had to taxi for over a half hour to the middle of nowhere.
When several LAPD officers boarded the plane, began removing the carry-on luggage of one of the passengers, and talking in hushed tones to the attendants it started to become clear that nobody was sick.
The pilot would later come clean and announce that a passenger had made a bomb threat and that they were removing the passenger and his luggage from the aircraft. The bomb-sniffing dogs did their job in the luggage hold of the plane and everything was declared kosher.
Apart from that, I think EVA Airlines runs a pretty good service. The seats were pretty comfortable for economy and the attendants were exceptionally nice. And either the isles are especially wide on their aircraft or the attendants are especially thin because not once in the 12 or so hours in the air did an attendant slam into me walking down the isle.
When I got to Taipei they had already booked me on the next flight to Bangkok. It was leaving in a half hour so there wasn’t any dallying around. I scurried across the terminal and got to my flight just in time. To my surprise my checked luggage made it and I was a happy camper.
It wouldn’t be Suvarnabhumi airport if the taxi drivers didn’t attempt to rape you outside the terminal. I’ve wised up and don’t exit arrivals at Suvarnabhumi (where they attempt to charge 900 baht for a taxi into the city). I go upstairs to departures and try to catch a metered taxi. Well f-me if the scammers hadn’t caught on that people like me were wise to them and they stationed scammers upstairs.
“Taxi boss?”
“Metered?”
“Yes, meter. 500 baht.”
“Well if you’re telling me what it costs before you even know where I’m going it isn’t exactly metered is it?”
I brushed him off and went up to the first driver standing there not looking like he cared if I needed a taxi or not. I asked him if he would turn on his meter and he enthusiastically said he would.
As we sped away he shared his thoughts about his fellow taxi drivers. Without having heard my conversation with the scammer he said, “500 baht too much. Not good. Make business bad for everyone.” Obviously they try to get everyone for 500 baht. Actual cost on the meter was about 200 baht. I gave the guy 300 just for being honest. Well that and the fare came to 200 and change and having just changed money all I had was big bills. Either way, I try to reward taxi drivers who are on the up and up.
But the travel karma gods weren’t done with me yet. When I came to Bangkok last Christmas they were holding their first post-coup elections. Whenever they hold elections they ban alcohol sales for a few days (usually the day before and on election day). I arrived on election day.
When I came again earlier this year in April the king’s sister had just died so they had all sorts of mourning events. They didn’t ban alcohol sales but the mood was a little more somber than I would have liked.
Well guess whose funeral is happening this weekend? If you guessed the previously mentioned king’s sister then you win a prize. I’m not sure what they do with the body for the six months between death and the formal funeral but from what I can piece together they’re going to cremate her on Friday, take the ashes somewhere on Saturday, and the bones someplace else on Sunday.
Okay, more guessing games for you. How does this impact me? If you guessed a ban on alcohol sales and all nightclubs being shut down then you’ve guessed correct. The worst part is, this being Thailand and all, nobody can gave you the straight scoop. Police sent out notices to all the bars telling them they were strongly encouraged to shut down Fri – Sun.
Now, if you own a entertainment venue (bar, nightclub, etc) in Thailand you probably make regular donations to your favorite charity (the policeman’s second wife, gambling, and drinking fund) which buys you the inside scoop on whether or not the coppers will actually enforce the laws or at least at what time they plan to make their raid so you can make sure to be in full compliance for the 20 or so minutes it takes them to go through the motions. So far I’ve yet to hear two bar owners give you the same story about who has to close and whether or not anybody will comply with the law.
So far, I’ve heard nothing being open Fri – Sun, bars allowed to open on Sat but closed Fri and Sun, and bars closed Fri and Sat but allowed to open on Sun. Oh, and then there’s the flaunting it factor. If you’re a nightclub you better shut the doors. If you’re a restaurant that also serves booze then keep it respectful and the boys in brown (BIB) will look the other way.
Oh well, we’ll see how the weekends shapes up.
Side note on one of the reasons Thailand rocks: I went to go get a hair cut today. I stumbled into the first salon I saw on Sukhumvit and asked for a trim. This gal treated the hair cut like brain surgery. She must have changed adapters on her shears ten times during the cut. She finished me off with a straight edge shave around my sideburns and the back of my neck. Then she motioned me over to a reclining chair and tweezed the ear hairs in each ear.
While she was going crazy on my ears they asked if I would like a manicure and pedicure. What the hell I’m already laid out in perfect position for both. I’ve got one girl sticking god knows what in my ears (I’m pretty sure at one point she burned something in my ear), one girl cutting my fingernails and another doing my toenails.
The whole package concluded with a half hour neck, scalp, foot, and hand massage.
Total cost for 2+ hours of pampering? Less than $25.