Another Link Exchange Winner

You would think that in a competitive market space that people would actually get better at what they do. Instead they just stay the same level of FAIL.

Here’s an email I got earlier today.

Hello there, Team/Owner of billrini.com!

My name is Stanley and I deal with promotion for my casino-related website. I am quite open to link to your site, though I would appreciate a link back.

This can be interesting because :

We could share some great content and our visitors could benefit a lot.

On the other hand,you might know Google ranks websites according to quality of their backlink structures. The more number of relevant links point to your website the higher position in Google SERP it takes.

I found billrini.com in Google SERP. It’s really well-done! You have made a great job.

I myself own several websites which I promote permanently. They have fair backlink profiles, few OBL’s and rank quite well in SERP too. But what is more important – their content is unique.
This could be really cool,please contact me and we’ll figure something out.

Good Luck with your website!
Best regards,

Stanley Chamberlain.

Mascoutah, Illinois 62258

I would like to point out a few things: It’s not a spam letter; It’s a real offer of webmaster. But if you would not like me to mail you again,just click
http://xxxx[deleted]

Okay, so let’s break down what’s wrong with this.

Hello there, Team/Owner of billrini.com!

Again, the same complaint I have about every one of these spam link exchange requests, whether or not anybody else agrees with me, I tend to think of myself as an important enough that you could take the time to address me by my name, Bill. It’s right there in the name of the domain and in the name of the site (Bill’s Poker Blog)!!!

I am quite open to link to your site, though I would appreciate a link back.

A link back to what? You didn’t provide one single link back to your site AND you sent the email from a GMail account. I have no freakin’ clue who you even are.

I found billrini.com in Google SERP. It’s really well-done! You have made a great job.

Exactly, so why would I even want to exchange links with you? You haven’t really laid out what the benefit is to me. You’ve, so far, insulted me by not addressing me by name, haven’t given me a chance to evaluate the quality of the link I’m going to get back, and made several gramatical errors in one sentence.

I myself own several websites which I promote permanently. They have fair backlink profiles, few OBL’s and rank quite well in SERP too. But what is more important – their content is unique.

What does promoting a site “permanently” even mean? And if you had to explain to me how Google ranks backlinks, why would you think I would understand a backlink profile or OBL? And I’m not really sure you’re doing a great sales job saying that you have “few OBL’s” because if you were you are telling me that you have few organic back links and that nobody voluntarily wants to link to you.

This could be really cool,please contact me and we’ll figure something out.

Cool for who? Stanley the anonymous, grammatically challenged, and overly optimistic guy from Mascoutah, Illinois or for me? I’m not sure you know this Stanley but a sales pitch should include at least a few benefits for the person you’re pitching. Maybe you could tell me how your original content is so kick-ass that I should be thanking you for the privilege of linking to it. Maybe you tell me that golden coins will shoot out of my butt if I link to you. I don’t know. But, you’ve certainly done a piss-poor job of selling me on a reason why I would want to or should link back to you . . . including the fact you haven’t provided a link even if I wanted to link to you.

Stanley, you know what would be really, really cool? You give me $100,000 right now.

See how that works? Without stating the benefit to you, that pitch sort of sucks, doesn’t it? If I said, send me $100,000 and I will give you the deed to the Playboy Mansion then we have a really cool deal. But your pitch seems to be heavily stacked in your favor with few benefits for me.

But the part that had me on the floor laughing was this:

I would like to point out a few things: It’s not a spam letter; It’s a real offer of webmaster. But if you would not like me to mail you again,just click
http://xxxx[deleted]

That just takes the cake. It’s not SPAM but I’ll tell you how to unsubscribe from a list that you didn’t ask to be on. Why would I have to indicate to you that I don’t want future emails from you if I never contacted you in the first place and never indicated any desire to have any sort of business relationship with you?

In a close second place are people who email (link related or not) completely unsolicited offers and then send a pissy followup that I didn’t reply to their original completely unsolicited email. The best of the best though are the ones who include a line like “Let me know if you’re interested” and then they follow up and get edgy about the fact that they haven’t heard back from you. You told me to contact you if I was interested. I didn’t contact you. What the hell do you think that means?

Is this the really what is out there in the online gambling affiliate world?