An Arresting Development in Bangkok

I had been doing some research for a post I’m writing about what the poker scene is like here in Thailand and one of the people that I contacted ended up relaying a story that is so surreal that making it simply part of another post doesn’t do it justice.

I always love a story that starts off with “I can’t believe I never told you about this before . . .” which is how Khun RG started his tale. I forget when he first started telling me the story but every time I saw him afterward he would leak fresh details that he hadn’t previously mentioned.

Finally I got him to commit to revealing all. At first we had made arrangements to meet up with another one of the guys who was involved in the tale but schedule conflicts kept the three of us from all being available at the same time.

I got a phone call from Khun RG one evening. “Hey, I’m down here on Sukhumvit shooting some pool. Want to swing by for a few beers?” I told him sure but I wanted to hear the story from beginning to end. He agreed and I hopped on the sky train over to lower Suk to join him and this is the story that unfolded over the course of about five hours and numerous beers. Mind you, some parts ended up being told somewhere around 3 or 4am in the morning as we sat on plastic chairs on Sukhumvit road drinking beer from street vendors who cater to the vampire crowd.

And at some point in the evening I got my fortune told by a gypsy fortuneteller. I don’t quite remember what she told me was in my future but I do remember that most of what she said about my past was almost universally false. Still the best 200 baht I spent all night not counting the beers.

Oh, the things I do just to bring you guys original content.

Several years ago Khun RG had been a part of a group of guys in Bangkok that used to meet up from time to time for a friendly game. It’s a high-stakes game with a buy-in of $2000. Just kidding, that’s 2000 baht, which is about $60 USD. Basically it’s your typical homegame. Nobody is getting rich and nobody is going to feel it too hard if they lose.

The guy who was organizing the games had put feelers out for more players by posting about the game on a site called meetup.com that helps people of similar interests come together. Many of the regulars in the game had known each other before the online invite went out but a few newbies who had seen the online posting would pop in and try their luck.

Now, the first thing you have to realize is that all forms of gambling are illegal in Thailand . . . except the government run lottery or buying a drink for a woman with an unnaturally deep voice. Police love busting up sports books, illegal lotteries, and from time to time a mafia run underground casino. It makes big headlines which the cops absolutely love. But for the most part they turn a blind eye to the farangs (western foreigners) because they figure we can afford it and farangs usually don’t get mixed up in Thai run gambling where we might accidently win and upset the natural balance of things.

So the whole idea to openly post a game on an online site was taking a bit of a risk. But Thais, and especially Thai police, tend to be pretty behind the times in technology and the meetup was posted in English for farangs so maybe that influenced the organizer’s risk/reward calculation.

One particular night a fellow with a German accent says he’s come for the game. When he asks if there are any “pros” playing in the game more than a few of the players start licking their lips at the dead-money about to join the action. He says he has some friends downstairs he wants to invite too if it’s okay and the organizer tells him to bring them on up.

One of the guys at the table jokes “Wouldn’t it be funny if the guy brought a bunch of cops back with him?”

The funny thing about jokes is sometimes that’s exactly what happens.

As everyone was starting to get settled in for the game the door opens and four or five Thai guys dressed in typical Thai street clothes walk in and say hello to everyone. My friend said he remembers thinking it was odd that some Thai guys would be up for poker but it wasn’t until one of the Thai men leaned over the table and his badge became visible that anyone seemed to have a clue to what was going on.

The police politely informed everyone that they were indeed police officers and that unfortunately they were going to have to arrest everyone. That’s what I love about Thais; even when they’re arresting you they’re polite to a fault.

Many of the regular players in the game had been in Thailand for years and had connections in the Thai police, Thai military, and other parts of the Thai government so they weren’t too concerned since they figured all it would take is a few phone calls and everything would be sabai sabai (chilled out). In fact, my friend said that when they were asked to get into the paddy wagon some of them were still drinking beers and laughing.

First stop on their tour of the Thai justice system was immigration. They were placed in a cell and everyone who had contacts started dialing up whoever they knew on their phones that the police had allowed them to keep. In fact, none of them had even been searched nor anything confiscated from their person. One guy was over in the corner playing his PSP game and another had his camera out and was taking pictures.

It wasn’t until the guy started taking pictures of the guards making the illegal Cambodian’s in the cell next to them do jumping jacks that the cops even paid much notice. Of course, he was politely asked to delete all the photos.

At this point in the tale, I stopped Khun RG and said, “Making the Cambodians do jumping jacks?” Khun RG responded, “There was a cell full of them next tour ours. Yeah, I’m really not sure what that was all about. They might have been Burmese. I’m really not sure.”

Once the immigration authorities had collected all of their information (name, address, etc) the next stop was the local police station where they were to await a court hearing. Upon arrival they were finally handcuffed (the first time all evening) and placed in a cell. They figured out why they had been handcuffed when an officer later came by and told them that for a fee of 15,000 baht ($450 USD) he could authorize the removal of the restraints. Amazing Thailand.

Usually if you have friends high-up in the government, police, or military life is pretty sweet. In Thailand there are very few crimes that a quick phone call can’t resolve. Evidence can disappear. Witnesses can recant. Hell, the police might just forget that they even arrested you in the first place. As I said before, the fact that David Carradine was found dead in a four or five star hotel and there is absolutely no CCTV footage of him entering the hotel is pretty much evidence that whoever he went back to the hotel with had some high placed friends.

Amazing Thailand.

But this time it backfired on our heroes. Seems that they had contacted so many different people the police were now in the uncomfortable position of having several different higher-ups asking questions. They couldn’t just let the boys go now because they were unsure of how many people knew. If they took a bribe now they would be unsure how many different people they would have to kick back a piece to. One of the police who had previously told them that they should be out in a few hours with a small fine now had to deliver the news that they would likely be deported immediately.

On top of that there was a small complication in the matter. According to Thai law, 10 or less people gambling is just 10 individuals gambling. As soon as an 11th person joins in the organizer is running an illegal casino, which is a far more serious offense. Anyone want to guess exactly how many people were arrested at the poker game?

Now keep in mind many of these guys have wives and families in Thailand. Some own businesses and condos. How can normally upstanding residents of the kingdom find themselves being deported from a place they consider to be their home? To say that the mood in the cell changed dramatically might be the understatement of the century.

How do you go from playing a friendly game of poker over some beers and laughs to having your entire world turned upside down? In the Thai courts on matters like this there is no appeals process. You get sentenced and they drive you directly to the airport and put a big stamp in your passport that says you are no longer welcome in the kingdom. Have a wife and kids? Too bad. Have a business? Too bad. You’re deported. End of story.

Over the next several hours as they waited for a hearing the seriousness of the situation continued to set in. People started discussing how they were going to get their assets out of the country and what their next moves might be. The laughing and drinking beer in the back of the paddy wagon seemed like lifetimes ago. Right now, the only concern was how best to completely restart their lives.

They sat in the cells for hours as they waited. Finally they received word that they would be fined an average of about 1,000 baht (a tad shy of $30 USD) each, would receive a suspended sentence (thus a criminal conviction on their records), but would NOT be deported.

Next stop was back to immigration where they sat around for an indefinite amount of time waiting for the formalities of the paperwork to be signed-off, cleared, and forms filled out in triplicate.

So almost 24 hours had passed from when the Thai police officers had entered the apartment until Khun RG was putting the key into the door of his own apartment but at all things considered 1,000 baht was a cheap price to pay compared to the alternatives.

Would Khun RG play in another home game in Thailand, I asked? He just smiled.